Sometimes... You have to decide, even though you're not sure if you're making the right choice.
This month as been the most complicated and stressful month I think I ever had.
I had a very important decision to make that changed the coursed of everything, at least for now.
I got into college. Into cinema, which I love. So usually, people would be happy and over the top about right?
Well... Not me.
The truth is, even though I love cinema A LOT, my first choice was always performing arts. But here where I live that's impossible, cause there's only one course, in a private college (yep, I'm not rich here!) and the actual course isn't that great.
Adding to that, I had always wanted to take a gap year. The idea of having an entire year to discover and explore the world, and myself, fascinated me! It's been something I wanted to do for a while.
So, I get into colllege, but I can't stop thinking about that gap year I dreamed of.
And then I'm told that if I cancel my enrollment in 10 days, I get the money from the tuition fee back.
So I had to make a decision. Fast.
Now let's be honest here: I suck at decisions!! I can't decide betewen two cute tops! How was I supposed to do this?
Well... Wilth a lot of stress, anxiety, fear and hurt, that's for sure.
These were two of the harder weeks of my life.
Deep down I knew I wanted the gap year, because I felt like it was such an opurtunity, and because I didn't want to regret not doing it latter.
I did like the college and the course, but I can always try again next year. Or even figuere out other college with a course closer to what I want (if I'm brave enough to go study abroad, that is...).
So I decided to take my time.
This is officially the 2nd day of my gap year.
I don't know if I made the right choice.
I'm sacred, because I'm not sure anout what's to come.
It's uncertain, and us humans are scared about uncertainty.
But we also get exited by it.
It's something that's truly hard to understand...
But I do know this: whatever happens, I made this decision by myself, for myself, with my heart.