Friday, April 12, 2013


Sometimes... you have to question everything you've always believed in.

My entire life, I've worked very hard.

To do good in school, to try not to disappoint my family and friends, to be always honest, nice, sweet...

I've always tried my best, mostly in school.

I've worked myself to exhaustion many times. But this year, it got serious.

As in crying compulsively in the middle of a test serious!

I have always been told you are supposed to have the best grades so you'll get into a nice collage and have a perfect life.

But we all know that's not how it works.

You can get into a nice collage, but that doesn't, in any way, mean you'll have a life even close to perfect.

Personally, I think a perfect life would be too easy and boring.

But I do want a good life. I want to do what I love, what makes me happy. I want friends that love me for who I am. I want my family to be proud of me.

So... to get that, I need amazing grades right now? Is that it?

Because that's what they make us believe... That's what I've always believed, even without noticing it!

Why would I try so hard if I didn't?

I want to best the best I can be, yes.

But the key word here is can!

Can I work myself to exhaustion? Can I be stressed all the time because of school? Can I go crazy and have a breakdown because of a grade? Really? Can I?

I don't think so!

I want to do it right. I want to be the best I can be. For myself. And the ones I love.

But I don't want this!

I don't want to be acting like a little baby that doesn't want to go to school the next day!
I don't want to be exhausted everyday.
I don't want to be stressed and freaked out because I have a test in a couple of days and I feel like I'm not going to get a 20 out of 20!

I really do not want this!

It looks like I'm trying to get into a medicine course or something!
I'm not!

I don't even know what course I'm trying to get into!!

Is it performing arts? Cinema? Fashion? Literature? I DON'T KNOW!

Then why am I freaking out all the time? Why?

Wanna know why? Because that's what I've been taught to do.

Since you get into school, you're encouraged try to be the best (not the best you can be, just the best, as in better than everyone else), to have the maximum quotation in a test even if that makes you loose three or four days of your live, to memorize every single page of a huge book for a day and forget it the next...


Why do they make us believe this is going to make us happy?

And why do you take it!? Why don't we question it??

Well... I'm questioning it now!

But I still don't know anything...

Today's motto: "Have the life you want, not the one other people want for you"

Today's song:

Today's pic:

Hearts Hugs and Kisses

Ella <3

No comments:

Post a Comment