Thursday, November 1, 2012

Strange Connections

Sometimes... you do things that make sense to no one but you.

I did something really strange.

I started speaking with his ex-girlfriend.

Yes, the one he left me for.

I know right? Really weird!

To be honest, I'm not really sure why I did it!
But I'm actually glad I did! Which is the weirdest.

She's so special! And different! She reminds me of... myself.

She's a great writer too, actually. She's really amazing. That's why I started talking to her, in the first place. I told her I loved what she writes. Which is true! And she was super sweet to me.
And now, we've been talking for a while!

The thing is... she has no idea of who I am! I talk to her as an anonymous.
And she wants to know who I am. And what connects us (I told her we had a "strange and kind of dark" connection).
And I wanna tell her!

What if she thinks I'm a freak?
What if she thinks I'm trying to get him in trouble? Because that's so not it!
What if she tells him?

But my biggest fear is... What if she hates me?
What if she gets mad at me?

I mean, I'm the girl he tried to conquer after being with her (even if he only tried for like a week, but whatever).
And she's the girl he left me to be with!

Shouldn't I hate her?

But... I don't wanna hate her! I can't hate her! She is too special! She's too... looked like me!!!!
And I don't want her to hate me!

It might seem like the weirdest thing ever but... I want us to be friends!
I feel like we could help each other a lot. About him. And not just that.

It really feels like we're two parts of the same person.

When I read what she writes... It's almost like I can see myself writing the same (although, I don't have as much talent as she does)! Almost like I know and feel the same. And that's really weird!

But, for some odd reason, I like that we have these weird connections (even though having "him" as a connection might not be so good) .

It makes me feel like...

Like I'm not alone anymore.

Today's motto: "A dark connection might just become a really good friendship."

Today's song: I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift

Today's pic:

Hearts Hugs and Kisses

Ella <3

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