Sometimes... there are people that can't stop surprising us. And not in a good way.
Remember the guy I talked t you about, not on my last post, but on the one before?
Yes, that one.
Well we haven't talked for almost 3 moths!
And guess what my BFF Cris told me today? He has new girlfriend!! How great!! How sweet!! How nice!! Right??
Liked my sarcasm?
If I cried? Oh yes! That devil's sun was still able to make the tears come. But you know what? I don't care. I don't care if he has a new girlfriend that he's going to leave in 2 days or that he's going to marry in 20 years!
It does not affect me.
But wanna know what does? The fact that I thought (stupid me!) That he was actually my friend! That he actually cared for me!
Well, apparently, I was wrong (as always! when do I learn??).
He was not even able to tell me! After everything he did to me, he did not even have the guts to tell me something! I had to hear it from a friend!
What a lack of courage.
He wasn't even able to stand up for his actions!
And you know what it does to me? Do you know what he's lack of courage makes me feel like?
Disgusted!
For me, he's nothing but disgusting!
At the end of the day... you know what? I can't believe this was the guy I gave my heart to!
Glad I woke up soon enough!
Today's motto: "Better alone than in bad company"
Today's song:
For such a special day I choose two songs. To give power to all us girls out there ;)
Today's pic:
I also have two pictures today. I think both make sense :)
P.S. Remeber: If he doesn't fight for you, he doesn't deserve you ;)
Sometimes... you witnessing thingsthat make you angry!
Today I witnessed something that really made me want to start a riot!
I went to my school (even though I'm still on vacations) because I had to pick up some random and boring paper, that I don't even know what's for!
After that, I went to pick up the bus.
While I was waiting, I noticed two men that were on other bus (the driver and some other that I have no idea of what was doing there).
After a while, I listened to the train warning (because my bus station is next to a train station) and, 2 minutes latter, this woman passed by, running on her heels (which were wedges - and really cute actually! - but pretty high), apparently trying to catch the train that was arriving at the station that moment.
She sheleft my sight for two seconds and, right after, I heard a astrange noiseandan attempt of a scream, muffled by the previous sound. I looked and there was exactly what I expected to see: the lady, on the ground, trying to get all the things that fell from her purse and with one foot shoeless.
I, as a polite person, immediately got up and ran up to her to see if she was ok and needed help. The lady seemed so scared, misguided and sad, as no human face should look like. Mostly not one who belongs to such a nice, fragile and polite lady. It broke my heart.
I helped her up and got her shoe. She was a little mad that she lost the train but she was physically fine and (I think) happy and touched that someone actually cared and helped her (which I'm pretty proud of myself for, I have to admit).
She thanked me and went away, living me with a smile and the sensation of job done!
That was, until I got back to where I was before and looked inside the bus where the men were. They were just laughing at the all situation and did not even have the wisdom of trying to hide how amused they were. And I'm not even going to go into the fact that they (as two adult men) didn't even try to help the woman!
All of this made me think! So I have a warning. Girls and ladys out there: remember! There are no gentlemen in this world anymore!
And guys (not even going to try to talk for the men because it's not worth it!): Please try to become the gentlemen of tomorrow! Forget about that stupid idea that a "masculine man" is a soulless animal! Girls like it when you hold the door for them or help them if they fall or need something. Not when you slam the door in their face or laugh at them when they're in trouble! And I would know!! I mean, I'm a girl!! Please, try not the be like these men I just talked about ,that didn't even have the sweetness of trying to help a lady. Because, if you became like them, you'll be nothing but a person who makes fun of everything and everyone just to try to fill this empty space in your chest (where your heart and soul should be), with no success!!
Today's motto: "Treat the others like you wish to be treated"
Today's song: Hello Cold World - Paramore
Today's pic:
Oh! And, before I go, I just wanted to day I'm sorry for not writing for a while. These months have been crazy and rough. Thanks for understanding :)
Sometimes... life gives you the world just to have the pleasure of ripping it out of your hands.
Have you ever felt like you had the all world smilling to you and, 10 seconds later, everything went dark?
I was so happy.
My grades weren't the best, but they were good. Great, really. Not the best I can do, but still great.
I started the beauty/fashion videos on youtube. And my What Makes You Beautiful cover passed 100 views.
I finally got over the guy I've been in love with for 3 years.
And, even better, I had a guy that seemed to like me like I liked him. Sorry, loved. Oh, I'm sorry again, love.
My love life was finally... existenting. At least, I thought so.
He made me smile. Laugh. Feel happy. Safe.
He actually made me belive that it could work.
But things change.Things always change.I just wished it hadn't changed so soon.
I'm really not made for it. All this love, romance, couples thing. I'm not made for it. I'm not made to be loved like that. By anyone. No one deserves the horror that is loving me.
It's actually a good thing. The fact that he doesn't like me. It's good. For him. Why? Beacouse I'm not made for it. For being loved. If he really loved me, he would be the one losing. He would be the one who was unhappy. And I couldn't live with that. I love him too much to make him go through that. I just want him to be happy. Even if that means staying away from me.
I wish, with all my strenght, that he would just talk to me. Solve it all. Make everything go back to what it was.
I wish we could just talk. Work things out. Be happy again.
But I won't say anything. I won't text. Becouse, if I did that, I would be putting pressure into him. And I can't do that.
He's the one who has to see what he really feels. If he loves, or ever loved me, he will say something.
Till then, I'll just wait. Becouse there's nothing else I can do. And that breaks me.
If I still have hope? Of course! There's nothing I can do about that.
If I want him here? Next to me? Even after all of this? Yes! More then anything! It would make us stronger!
If I wish this all thing, meeting him, never happened? No. Never. Becouse I love him. And I was happy..
But it hurts. It really does.
I don't blame him. Not at all. Although I did.
I blamed him for leaving me. For making me cry. I was so mad! I felt like making him feel the same way I felt. And feel. Empty. Sad. Unhappy.
But all that madness didn't last for long. For two reasons: becouse I'm not a bad person, so I don't think like that; and becouse I love him. And I don't hurt the people I love.
Just today, I've been through so many states! I've been sad, empty, mad, crazy, hopeless... and others I can not even express with words!
But, at the end of the day, I'm really just heart broken.
It's like someone just grabed my "almost healthy" heart and crushed it, turning it into pieces.
And all it would take to heal my heart, would be a a simple "I'm sorry. I love you. Let's work this out."
But that is just not going to happen. Becouse it would be too good to be true. And I learned that those things don't exist.
I realy just wish we could go back to that Thursday, when everything was simply... perfect.
Today's motto: "If you love something (or someone), set it free. If it comes back, and it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was"
I had lots of things to do, so I really didn't have time to write anything... sorry about that!
But now that school is almost over, I'll have more time for sure :)
Well, lately my life has been pretty full! Between school (since it is almost ending, there's a lot of work to do), drama club (we had 3 presentations in the last 2 weeks - we did "Chicago", by the way!) and the hip hop crew (we had two presentations in the las 2 weeks), I have been super busy and with no time for anything else!
But this blog was definitely the one I left behind the most!
The reson to that is that nothing really has happened (emotionally talking) that I needed or thought I should talk about!
Things have been pretty much the same on that department! But I guess, since I was busy, I didn't really had much time even to think about it!! Which is good.
It keeps me from getting depressed!!
Plus, I've been on a very positive mood! Which is actually my natural state!
I usually say to my friends: "If you smile and keep it positive, even in the darkest moments, things will get better".
So, I decided to go back to being the positive me I really am!!
Over all, it has been good couple of months!
Being on stage (dancing, acting...) makes me happy! And, since I had a lot of that these passed 2 weeks, I've been feeling pretty happy :D
I guess life can be pretty good when you're in the right mood, don't you think?? ;)
He talked to me :-D I actually really wanted to write some things that have been happening with him lately (last Thursday) but I'm afraid someone I know can see it and understand! But, for a little summary, let's just say I was VERY close to him ;-)
Anyway, that's not the main reason why I feel like life is starting to smile at me (which makes me very impressed with myself)! I'm loving doing covers on youtube! It's great to get home and being able to record and post my video on youtube and get all the amazing feedback!
Untill now, the people have been very receptive to my videos and super sweet on their comments! It's been a great experience and I'm very happy about it!
Plus, me and my friend Cris are going to start working on something... but I'm not going to give anything away about it yet ;-) Keeping the mystery!!
To sum it all up, these days have been pretty good! I'm hoping that this amout of good luck it's here to stay!!
Today's motto: "After every storm, a bright sun appears"
Sometimes... you got to do things in the moment or you'll never be brave enough to do it again.
As you probably already understood if you read my last post, I've been very exited about starting to cover songs on youtube.
But I was also very unsafe becouse I feel like I just might make a fool of myself!
I had lots of secong thoughts but I had to do it today, becouse I know I probably would not be brave to o it any other day (like that time when I decided I was going to finally pierce the ears, then didn't to it right away and... my ears are still unpierced!!).
So... I decided that I had to do it! So... I just uploaded my first cover ever!!
It's Tell Me That You Love Me, from Victorious (singed by Victoria Justice and Leon Thomas III).
I wanted to ask you to wach it and tell me what you think, becouse it would mean the world to me!
And also, I wanted to thank all my friends and family members for supporting me and helping me walk this step forward!
Today's motto: "Do it now, couse you might not have the guts to do it tomorow"
Today's song: My cover of Tell Me That You Love Me
